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A Sad Obituary; All good things must end
Topic Started: Dec 2 2017, 02:50 AM (184 Views)
Posted ImageSantadora11
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The JRPG guy
Hi. Im Santadora. Or Sazandora. Or.. God knows what my names used to be. The point is, I'm me. And god have I gotten old.

How old? Very. My first post on here? July 15, 2011. When did I join? Also July 15 2011. But I was around before that. Y'all probably don't know, but there used to be two forums for Pokemon Tower Defense, and this one destroyed the other one. But i was on the other one before I was even on this one. I joined this forum when I was eleven, and now I'm 17. Now I'm back, and looking at this forum, and seeing how it's dead, and old, and... petrified. It's like walking through a house fully furnished, with signs of people living there and just...
seeing no one. Like a bowl of cereal is on the counter, waiting for the milk. Or the TV is on, the console turned on, the game paused. And it makes me so sad.

This forum was so important to me. I discovered it at an important time in my life. I was moving from Ohio to Missouri, a shy 11 year old with a shell, no friends, and so much creative energy to throw around randomly on the internet. And I found a place here, in the roleplay section. Oh my god the roleplay section was perfect for me - a crucible of creative energy, people writing and posting and doing it at the same time, stories getting hundreds of posts long and thousands of words and going down every little tangent and making no sense - but GOD was it fun! I'd run home from school, pull out my netbook, and just read roleplays, then try and post - but by the time i'd be done reading four people who were caught up had posted! So i had to delete my post and redo it, making it fit (or not, if I felt like causing some havoc!). And believe me - this hole tiem eyem tiping like this!!!!!1!!!!I'm an eleven year old - what do you expect?

You know the craziest thing though? I don't remember being bullied. I don't remember being left out - people took my wild tangents, my crazy ideas - and they ran with it! Popular admins, leading posters - I'd RUIN their stories! They'd write a 12 paragraph short story about the inner workings of their character, a deep meaningful summation of their thoughts, feelings and motivations - and i'd post a single sentence right after saying "And then a herd of pigeys ataced!!!!!!" and they'd GO WITH IT! This forum made me feel so warm, and accepted, and happy, at a time in my life where I didn't really get that anywhere else... or want it, really.

But now I look at this forum... and I think... Wow. It's time is up. Everyone's grown up. They lost interest - but isn't that how it should be?

This forum - this place, where teenagers and children wrote words about a freaking kids game, has had such a huge impact on my life it's not funny. And I'm sure it's like that for everyone else. Yet... it's dead. No one posts. No one comments. My friends aren't here, the once lively graphics forum, the once booming RPG, the unstoppable roleplays - dead. Stopped in the middle. But that's how it should be. This community had a job: to help kids grow up. And by god, I know I have. And I hope it helped others. So we moved on. We left this place, like we leave a classroom at the end of our schooling, with chairs out, books not sorted, pencils on the floor - but the impact of this forum never ending on our lives.

So I thought... I should share this. God knows who'll read it. But I look back at this forum, at this huge chunk of my life, and think: "It's over.
I want it back, but it's over. It has nothing more to give me, I have nothing to give it." And I'm sad. But I'm also so goddarn happy.

Thank you. Thank everyone who I ever talked to, who ever accepted me, helped me grow. Thank you for everything you've done. And goodbye
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Posted ImageSuper neoN
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Prepare to be amazaed
I agree with everything you're saying. I joined in 2012 at the age of 13 and I was such a dumb poster lmao. looking back at the stuff I used to write just makes me laugh cause I said some suuuuuuuper dumb stuff.

I also wish that the forum was what it once was. I made my home in the graphics design section taking pictures of pokemon and putting a gimp filter on them and then selling them to people for forum cash. I remember the guy I used to look up to most in that section was Munch far out he made some cool stuff.

But yeah most of us have grown up. You woulda read my intro. I'm 19 now and I'm a heaps busy person. DON'T WANNA BRAG OR ANYTHING BUT I AM AN !!! E L I T E A T H L E T E !!!
One thing that I've learned growing up to this point is that it's important to remember where you came from and to not let go of the things that once made you happy or the friends you've made in the past. I'm still young but I do a lot of living in the past. I graduated from high school almost 4 years ago (our high school systems different) but I still go back every few weeks to chat with the teachers even though I don't know any of the students that go there.

This forum is much the same for me. I always knew I'd come back it's just too common for me personally to want to revisit anything, anyone or anywhere that I've enjoyed and spent a lot of time with. And to be honest this is kind of what I've expected to see.

PGN hasn't been as active for a long time and it likely never will be as much as it pains me to say. The only hope for the forum is to outsource and expand to attract another market but that's a totally separate topic of discussion.

I've come back to this place because I want to see some of the friends I've made in the past. I know some of them will come back, like Gforce and Snowy,

I don't want to leave PGN. I want to see it thriving again which is why we should do something
do us a favour and chuck my name on that list.

Also I dunno how much sense what I just wrote makes cause I'm heaps tired and about to fall asleep
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Posted Image Master Snowy
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%The Bliss Lender%
I don't have the time anymore, but I haven't lost interest in what this place stands for, I'd still come back if they were all back again, I need ma gang, but meh.. they're gone I guess

I miss so many of them.

neoN, Sazandora, Mr. Spaz, ThatGuyHim! and everyone else, please hit me up on discord when free! : )

I'm MasterSnowy#7818

My snap chat is Master Snowy as well xp

My skype is also Master Snowy (if you find two accounts, both are mine)

Please hit me up whenever! I miss you guys a lot! : D

-coming from a now 25 year old working lady, that works like 2 jobs and doesn't have the time to see her own face in the mirror, So, I couldn't read much of the posts above, I skimmed through most of it.

And just thought I'd put my feels into it too, aye!

Hope you all have a happy new year! : )

P.S., The only thing that dazzles me is that nearing the end of things, I kind of started to feel like thunderstarf hated me and I didn't even know why, lmao x)

Turns out, I've always had autism (got my tests later, which explains my always hyper behavior etc). So, yeah- I didn't even realize it till now, but looking back at some messages, it feels like I might have hurt him somewhere- and I don't even know what I did, when or how but I'm just sorry for it man!

If you're still reading out there, I want you to know that I'm sorry and I sure as heck didn't mean it, man! : )

You're always going to be my good friends and I love you guys a lot! aye! Xp
Edited by Master Snowy, Jan 5 2018, 04:15 PM.
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Posted ImageGForce
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An amazing way to put it Santadora11, I agree and couldn't be happier that this forum had some form of impact on your life and many others. All good things must end, and it is upsetting. This post made me smile though, thank you for your continuous support over the years, it was a pleasure, and who knows maybe one day we can all have some sort of gathering (as Adults! *gulp*).

Take care!

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